DAD CHAT: PROM RULES - THE FIVE B'S
3/26/2013 6:53:00 AM
It's prom season and one of the grandest high school traditions makes high school hearts flutter with excitement, while causing their parents to beat excessively with worry. From formal gowns and tuxes, to luxurious limos and spas, the prom has became an act of excess. It's up to you
Here are my rules for your children, who are going to the prom. Focus on what I called the "The Five B's"! They are bouquets, breasts, booze, buses and boys!
Bouquet and buses are the way to go
When it comes to breasts, just say no
Flowers are pretty, they smelly really nice
Buses are safer, they will suffice
Breasts are for babies, not teen boys
Keep your hands to yourself, the girls are not toys
Booze is for losers, with no self respect
They'll all get caught when the teachers check
So, here's what I mean! Boys don't bring their dates flowers any more and I don't know why. Make sure your son brings his date a bouquet or wristlet. Everyone will be impressed, even the kids. Out of about 6 or 7 girls, my daughter's date was the only one who brought her flowers. All the other girls were jealous and their dates looked goofy. It was a classy move.
Keep the breasts covered up. Leave the cleavage on the Jersey Shore. Make sure your daughter knows that she shouldn't be known for a wardrobe malfunction or worse. Someday she'll want to show the pictures to her own kids. It's about memories, not mammaries.
Rent a bus or a trolley! More kids can use it, it's more affordable and you can see in it! That reduces the chances of drinking, because you can see through the windows. Number one - it's the safest way to go. Do not let your kids drive!
Give them the sex talk! NO, NO, NO! You don't want everyone at the after party talking about how your child was the one "hooking up" in the parking lot behind the bushes.
If you're school doesn't have an after party, organize one yourselves or with neighbors. Get music, karaoke, food, gimmicky stuff...photo booth costumes.....lights...whatever it takes. Make it cool and try to keep them safe. Give them some space, but make sure there's no BOOZE!!!
I know, I know....it all sounds good! Practical application, I understand, is a different story.
Email me any questions, thoughts, comments and ideas at HMorse@wror.com